Recently life has been a whirlwind of changes, activities, and adjustments. Now, it would seem that things aren't much different from how they used to be but that's not true. For starters, all I wanna do is sleep. Now, what's that about? I have no idea and it drives me crazy. I'm seem to be exhausted constantly which is not making homework too easy to complete. I'm assuming this is normal (cause that makes me feel better!) and that it will get better. Guess we'll see....:)
But more importantly I have also been dealing with some separation from God. I haven't been leaning on Him like I have in the past and I miss Him. God noticed and He didn't want me to slip away without a fight so this is what He did. Let me take ya back to the beginning of this plan... last year when my friend and I were having Bible studies together we saw she needed a new Bible so we went looking. She had recently been using a version of the Bible that is more of an interpretation than a translation so I introduced her to the NKJV. We looked at multiple Bibles and settled on a Women's Study Bible that we both fell in love with. I talked to my mother about buying one for myself but the Bible was just too expensive at the time and so I put that thought away. More recently, my roommate and I were studying some passages together and I looked over at her Bible to help and realized that she also had... wait for it... the Women's Study Bible!! I went on to tell her how much I loved that version and hoped to get one some day and then I just thought that conversation was over. Well last Friday I went to my mail box and I had a package to pick up. "Well this is weird... can't be from mama, I'm gonna see her in just a bit... hmmm" (My thoughts went something like that...) Anyshway, I picked it up and noticed that there was no return name just an address from my hometown. I opened it and tears immidately came to my eyes. A brand new copy of the Women's Study Bible and it had my name engraved. I've never had a Bible with my name on it... I could have collapsed right there. My friends had tried to send it secretly but unfortunately (for them) I had never told anyone else I wanted it so... well I just put two and two together.
I was moved by their Christian generosity. And their kindness will shine in my life forever. Praise God. Praise God for He knew what I needed and that this act of goodness would push me to grow, to be better. Now I will shine brighter because Jesus shone in them.
Shine Always,
ShelbyJean
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Happy.
Yesterday was a beautifully wonderful day. I got to spend the afternoon smiling and laughing with my Mama and my Joey.
We decided to bring my real mattress to school (I can already tell you it makes a difference, I was wrong...) and so we had to take Poppa's truck. I had planned on riding in the back but mom and Joey both said that we could all three sit up front, that set us up for an inevitable ride, either really fun or squishibly miserable! But all the way here we were laughing and smiling. We sang with the radio and danced like dorks. We teased each other and held hands... for a few hours we were nothing but simply happy.
It was such a blessing to get to spend that time with them. It's an afternoon of memories that I don't intend to forget. Sometimes in life I think we forget about the little things... we clearly remember our hurts but struggle to remember our happiness. We remember the tears but sometimes forget the laughs. I think it's sad and so it's a new goal of mine to write down my good things so that when I need a smile I can think back and bring one to mind. God gave us a great blessing with our memory and ability to write so let's use it to remember the beautiful things in life, the moments when our smiles shine.
Shine Always,
ShelbyJean
We decided to bring my real mattress to school (I can already tell you it makes a difference, I was wrong...) and so we had to take Poppa's truck. I had planned on riding in the back but mom and Joey both said that we could all three sit up front, that set us up for an inevitable ride, either really fun or squishibly miserable! But all the way here we were laughing and smiling. We sang with the radio and danced like dorks. We teased each other and held hands... for a few hours we were nothing but simply happy.
It was such a blessing to get to spend that time with them. It's an afternoon of memories that I don't intend to forget. Sometimes in life I think we forget about the little things... we clearly remember our hurts but struggle to remember our happiness. We remember the tears but sometimes forget the laughs. I think it's sad and so it's a new goal of mine to write down my good things so that when I need a smile I can think back and bring one to mind. God gave us a great blessing with our memory and ability to write so let's use it to remember the beautiful things in life, the moments when our smiles shine.
Shine Always,
ShelbyJean
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sing
Today had a rocky start due to a fire alarm blaring at 7:50 in the morning.... my 8:00 class had been cancelled, mind you, and so it was the first day I had gotten to sleep past 7, oh well. I found it more funny than anything. But after that the day continued to improve by talking with a new friend and a truly enjoyable English class (which I don't say too often!)
And then there was choir. Choir is the time in my day where I get to do something I love, make music. As the guys are singing I just close my eyes and listen, there aren't enough words to describe the power behind their sound.
And then, it's my turn. I feel the music whelling inside me and it comes out smoothe and forceful. I'm excited and moved by the words I am sending to God. It is an intense experience, when I really allow myself to forget the world and just sing. This is gift God has given me and in it He allows me to shine.
Shine Always,
ShelbyJean
And then there was choir. Choir is the time in my day where I get to do something I love, make music. As the guys are singing I just close my eyes and listen, there aren't enough words to describe the power behind their sound.
And then, it's my turn. I feel the music whelling inside me and it comes out smoothe and forceful. I'm excited and moved by the words I am sending to God. It is an intense experience, when I really allow myself to forget the world and just sing. This is gift God has given me and in it He allows me to shine.
Shine Always,
ShelbyJean
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
My Life
It's been a rough day. I decided that I'm gonna be open and honest on this blog so hope no one thinks I'm complaining...
So I'm in college now, right? Well I've been excited my whole life about this experience and now I'm losing sight as to why. I have a disease that causes me to hurt and while it's been like this practically my whole life I never anticipated how much worse it would be because of college life. There are moments that I feel like I can't move, sincerely. This scares me for a lot of reasons.
I hope to go to the doctor and get some help very soon. I truly want to enjoy the next 4-5 years of my life, but it's not lookin' too good at this point. I have hope though and am trying to learn better how to lean on God which I know will make a difference in at least my attitude.
I'm not sharing this for sympathy but simply because it is a huge chuck of my life right now and that's what I want to write about... my life.
ShelbyJean
So I'm in college now, right? Well I've been excited my whole life about this experience and now I'm losing sight as to why. I have a disease that causes me to hurt and while it's been like this practically my whole life I never anticipated how much worse it would be because of college life. There are moments that I feel like I can't move, sincerely. This scares me for a lot of reasons.
I hope to go to the doctor and get some help very soon. I truly want to enjoy the next 4-5 years of my life, but it's not lookin' too good at this point. I have hope though and am trying to learn better how to lean on God which I know will make a difference in at least my attitude.
I'm not sharing this for sympathy but simply because it is a huge chuck of my life right now and that's what I want to write about... my life.
ShelbyJean
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Purpose.
I'm not completely positive what my goal with this blog will be but my assumption is mostly self-discovery, to allow myself to shine and by that, allow others. I believe that writing will help me understand myself and hopefully others will be encouraged or inspired by what I write.
I have never done this before and not sure how successful or faithful I will be but this is something I've always been interested in doing so I'm gonna give it a try. I don't really even know what I will want to write about but my plan is to just write anyway. Hopefully it will turn out that I have something to say.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Shine Always,
Shelby Jean
I have never done this before and not sure how successful or faithful I will be but this is something I've always been interested in doing so I'm gonna give it a try. I don't really even know what I will want to write about but my plan is to just write anyway. Hopefully it will turn out that I have something to say.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Shine Always,
Shelby Jean
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