Time.

Time doesn't stop for anyone... last week we celebrated Joey's 20th birthday and this weekend we celebrate my best friend's 21st, I just registered for my junior year of college, and I have been married for 10 months already. I can't believe it! Time is flying by and I really realized that while time is precious and we must cherish it, we must also be sure that we do not allow it to hinder us.

I found this quote while 'wasting' my time on Pinterest and I think it is really appropriate.

"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway."
-Earl Nightingale

This concept... that time shouldn't be a factor because time continues whether you consider it or not... was new to me. But how profound, how differently we might live if we are willing to think about life and our dreams in this way. If we allow ourselves to pursue what we know may take a lifetime to accomplish then we will likely lead a meaningful life.

And for me in this time in my life when I am striving for fitness this concept seemed especially appropriate. You see, remodeling does not happen overnight... if we want to remodel our home then we must draw up plans, ask questions, get guidance, and then do it one day at a time. The same can be said for remodeling of our bodies, minds, emotions, etc.

My wellness professor has recently introduced me to the idea that I cannot reasonably expect to transform my body in a matter of six months. He believes that this takes years of effort to truly remodel and I agree. Which means that I need to begin to remodel how I think about remodeling my body.

I am currently a perfect reflection of every choice that I make. All the food I eat or don't eat, the exercise that I do or don't do... everything about my life is mirrored back to me and the sooner I recognize and internalize, the sooner I will begin truly remodeling. I have to work for a slow and steady effort rather than expecting a Cinderella experience.

These are just some of the thoughts that I have been churning... I hope you find them beneficial as well.

Shine Always,

Shelby Jean

This Journey...

I love my life... I love everything about it. It's not always easy but I've found that it is always worth it. God is so active in my life and I feel so blessed to have the Shepherd leading me each day.

I recently went on a hiking trip with my husband and some friends, it was a wonderful day. We laughed and soaked in God's creation. We were on top of the world for just a little while but it was long enough... just long enough to keep me floating above the surface when we got home.

I documented the day and I couldn't see myself in the photos. I was lost under layers of bad choices and I was stunned. 

I had no idea that this had happened... I don't remember it happening. But who does? I sat and stared at this image that was supposedly of my face, of my stomach, of my legs... my body. I just couldn't believe it. I've clearly lost control. I cried out to Joey and he came. He didn't understand... and how could he? He is not lost. He just looked at me and said, "It's not that bad." He was sweet and I could see that he loved me despite these decisions I've made for myself. 

He walked away but I couldn't move. My hand covering my gaping mouth as tears rolled down my cheeks. I had noticed that things weren't like they used to be but I honestly had no idea.

I mourned the health that I once had and the time that I had wasted but only for a moment. I knew that if I wallowed in my hurt and disappointment that I would not be able to move. So I stood up looked at myself in the mirror and took it in. I acknowledged that this is where I am and I can ignore it no longer. This right now, is my reality. I can no longer run from it. I must face where I've come and work to make it better. 

I've made a commitment to myself to love my body, first as it is now because you can not care for yourself if you do not love yourself first. So this is me...

But this is only me yesterday, it is not me today or tomorrow... or ever again. Praise God for this reminder and praise God that it came when I was ready to hear it. 

Shine Always,

Shelby Jean